I am an educated capable human being. Those ARE my credentials.

The Work Place
Photo by Ann Marie Wilson

Dear Advice Town,

How do you deal with jobs that want experience to hire you but won't hire you to gain experience??


Frustrated in Fort Worth, TX

Fed up with the ASS backwards merry-go-round you've been chained up to ever since complying with corporate world strategies? I hear ya honey! This prestigious money machine is a complicated beast, and employers are so entangled from self inflicted confusion that they often miss out on super sweet hiring opportunities. YOU! You are THEIR opportunity, not the other way around.

Here are a few ways, in which, I (or a friend of mine *hard wink, nervous chuckle*) have learned to loophole some ridiculously red tape:

  • There I said it. It's time to start "enhancing" the ole resume. If there are some dates, names, or duties that can be fudged a little, go for it. I'm not saying spin a tall tale of triumph. I'm just implying that a small exaggeration won't hurt. Your mission? Get your ambitious little toes in the door and proceed to dazzle them with your intelligence and team player personality.
  • Have an intimidating interview coming up? Be sure to hit a dollop of the sauce before you take your turn in the hot seat. Simply enjoy enough beverages to lift your spirits, and leave the heavy handed pouring for the weekends. You don't want to blab about the time you went home with a bachelor party on your birthday. You just want to lower your stress level. If you want to avoid imbibing, choose an activity that relaxes you and flips on your social butterfly light. Jogging? Meditation? Kama Sutra? Whatever that may be, we don't judge here.
  • Find out where your dream team has cocktail hour, and make friends with people in your industry.They might just cut a couple of corners to allow you into their tight knit work circle. Employers want to be surrounded by efficient hardworking individuals, but more than that, they want a friend. It's lonely at the top, and let's face it, office environments can be fairly disheartening. So, be the work buddy that likes to have a giggle about weekend antics.
  • Volunteering ties in with the networking angle, and rewards you with that all to wonderful warm and fuzzy charitable feeling. While being a do-gooder with a purpose, get familiar with some possibly vital connections inside your target company. That new friend might be the supportive voice whispering success in your near future.
  • Those in a hurry to hire don't have the luxury to be choosy. You can have multiple successes by just dropping in, smiled, styled, and resume in hand. There you are educated, glowing, and enthusiastic, like an angel sent from heaven. It must be a sign right? They sit you down, they make some allowances based on lack of experience, and BOOM! You are hired! It saves your future employer time and money. They don't have to post a job listing and do millions of interviews just to have that special someone quit after their first week of training. Timing is huge!
  • Also, you should feel free to apply to old job postings. You never know when a new hire has left the building or the company is hiring multiple employees.

AND IF NONE of this advice works, at least you got to tell a story, dress up, sip a cocktail, join a party, and confide in your few new friends about your current nine to five nightmare.

*Dear future employers, I have not necessarily attempted any of the aforementioned advice. ;)

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